It’s times like this that I really don’t know what to say. I’ve got so many emotions running through my head in a muddled cacophony of uncertainty.  All I know is that I’m angry, sad, and in love. I’m not angry or sad because of what’s happened to me, but because of what’s happened to someone I care about more than I care about myself.  Being forced into a metaphorical martyrdom isn’t the best feeling physically, but at the same time I know what I did was right given the situation and that in some small way the situation will improve, and with time, who knows, maybe things will go back to the good days.  I sincerely hope they do.  It’s situations like this that have reinforced my serious doubts as to whether there is a God, or think that if there is he’s unneccesarily cruel and vindictive – but one thing I can say is that in spite of this, I’m praying like I never have before. I really don’t know what to do right now.  I doubt I will be sleeping any time soon.  I will need friends tomorrow, please don’t be angry if I just drop by.  I don’t know where I’ll be.

Advertisement